This is what my father told me - I trust this “Last Will and Testament” in its simplest form will not lead to disputes and conflicts. I also trust that both of you will continue to respect your step-mother who has always been proud of you both.
I haven’t revisited these feelings since my own mother passed away 17 years. Those were dark times. Rough times. It happened similarly as 2Pac described:
As I bail through tha empty halls
in my jaws
ring, ring, ring
plus this my homie from high school
he’s getting bye
It’s time to bury another brotha nobody cry
Have I been the perfect son that I could have been?
Nope - I could’ve been that investment banker, making that £65K, living in the perfect home with a perfect family. I could’ve been that high-rising management consultant, advising high-profile clients and living a great income in Arlington, VA. I could have three kids, grand-children that my father could hold in his arms, aware of his legacy throughout time.
Instead, I’m playing the long-term game of success of entrepreneurship. Am I at the point where I need to be - nope, no at all.
Which leads me to my next question - will my father survive long enough to see me succeed? And I fear not. And that is my failure.
I failed my mother. I cannot fail my father. He doesn’t deserve it - he gave me everything, and he lived through my mother’s death. I am their first son - I am the bastion of the better life, the representative of things better. The personalization of their ideals and dreams. Their son.
But - I cannot control the fate of my father. But I will always be his son. And if God takes him away that only fuels my fire.
I won’t ever quit. And when both my parents look down from Heaven, I’ll draw from my dying breath every ounce of effort that I can muster, for that is what I expect of myself of an honorable son.